"where is the bathroom?"

"hua-jang-shil odee-kae-yo" - i've been saying this for months.

then hyojung asked "hua-jang-shil odee-yeh yo" last night.

after a few clarifications from my korean friends, it turns out i've been asking "where is the bathroom going?" for months.

never try to tell a korean a 'no arms, no legs' joke. they tend to fall flat. except the one about the bicycle.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs riding a bicycle? a fucking idiot.

three words:

FUCK THE OCEAN. i'm never going swimming again.

either erin or patricia left this comment on my blog sometime in the last 24 hours:

"i'm still trying to wrap my brain around the judas priest guy".




the only thing getting wrapped around anything in this dude's presence is another dude being wrapped around a leather-bound pillar in this dude's bumdungeon.

not that there's anything wrong with that...

last week i downloaded queen's set on live aid, july 13 '85.

it kicks more ass than i could possibly articulate in words.

it's queen week here in seoul.

"without freddie mercury there wouldn't be a freddy madball" - josh payton.

i took these photos off a subway poster in sadang this week. it made me think of that mock of the 'readiness' things the US office of homeland security put out after kennedy got shot... remember? "use duct tape"?
"If you spot terrorism, blow your terrorism whistle.
If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud".


"If you are a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, stay inside. Nobody wants to see that shit."

So here are mine...



"If you spot a subway that has anthropomorphed and grown eyes, kick it until your leg goes straight through its metal exoskeleton. Live subways are evil".





"If you run down the stairs in Chungmuro station and there's a pervert with his hand down his pants, do your best to claw your way onto a subway car. Chungmuro perverts are scary and smell funny".





"If your baby drops his wallet, get someone to grab a hideously outdated pink telephone and an airline pilot who has stolen someone's prosthetic arm to get it out".

Okay, that one was kind of lame.



"If you're across the terminal from someone and they have an outdated phone, hide under the subway platform EVEN IF THE SUBWAY IS COMING. Risking death is better than acknowledging someone with an outdated phone".

Yeah. I'm sure there's more that could be said about these. Let'er rip!

(oh yeah - and did you notice I've discovered capitalization?)

i hiked roughly 600 meters today.

kwanaksan peak, south seoul.


with a dog in my backpack.

*disclaimer* though i had a part in the libretto for this song, by no means does its lyrics fully reflect my opinions on dating in korea.

you'd have to date in korea to have an opinion on dating in korea.

the abraham lincoln killing machine sing 'lower your standards'.

their album "we're a party band, what's your excuse?" should be out soon.

song of the day: kool keith as dr. dooom "apartment 223". an ode to being jeffrey dahmer.
kool keith as dr. dooom - 'apartment 223'.

song of the day: pinback 'shag' from the cd 'This is a Pinback CD', Touch and Go records 2004 (?). (i never know shit about when records came out. this song is probably 17 years old for all i know. last new record i bought was a CCR double greatest hits cd).

ok. 35 and 40 comments on some rather inconsequential posts. so's i'd better update i guess.

i had this idea where i'd pull a payton and put a mix cd up on my blog but bandwidth restrictions are such that i am doing something slightly different.

song of the week/day/however frequently i feel like it.

The Tight Bros from Way Back When play "Save your Blues for Another Day".