i took these photos off a subway poster in sadang this week. it made me think of that mock of the 'readiness' things the US office of homeland security put out after kennedy got shot... remember? "use duct tape"?
"If you spot terrorism, blow your terrorism whistle.
If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud".


"If you are a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, stay inside. Nobody wants to see that shit."

So here are mine...



"If you spot a subway that has anthropomorphed and grown eyes, kick it until your leg goes straight through its metal exoskeleton. Live subways are evil".





"If you run down the stairs in Chungmuro station and there's a pervert with his hand down his pants, do your best to claw your way onto a subway car. Chungmuro perverts are scary and smell funny".





"If your baby drops his wallet, get someone to grab a hideously outdated pink telephone and an airline pilot who has stolen someone's prosthetic arm to get it out".

Okay, that one was kind of lame.



"If you're across the terminal from someone and they have an outdated phone, hide under the subway platform EVEN IF THE SUBWAY IS COMING. Risking death is better than acknowledging someone with an outdated phone".

Yeah. I'm sure there's more that could be said about these. Let'er rip!

(oh yeah - and did you notice I've discovered capitalization?)