so i've been pushed around on the subway enough to get pissed off... some ajushi (older dude) just totally aimed for me the other day, he was about four feet away and just started veering towards me in the corridor. i braced for it because i saw it coming and he ricocheted off me like a beach ball.

it's getting to the point where "babu" is not good enough. "babo yaa" i think is how you call someone a moron when they piss you off. it's enough so that the dumb bitch who knocked my coffee out of my hand on the subway because she was too stupid to look up from text messaging while walking needs to know, in korean, that's she's dumber than a bag of salt. so after following a "fistfights with koreans" post on www.eslcafe.com i find the "swearasaurus", which is a generator for bad words that goes across many languages and cultures. it's great, though i hear some of the translations are a ways off. i've heard some of these before though...

from http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/korean.htm

"Geseki" = "Son of a bitch"
"Dong-muk-uh" = "Eat shit"
"Ap'un mee chin nyun" = "Silly bitch" - something i could have used with a lap ful of coffee at jongno station...
"Ano shipal" = "Fuck off"

...all stuff i would use on a daily basis walking the in vancouver on its streets polluted with stupid, vacuous people with more money than brains... or just more hockey and television and corporate news fanaticism than brains. i even learned a few cantonese swears specifically for chinatown, they made the odd chinese dude a little testy when i spit it in his face after he poked me in the eye with his umbrella.

the thing about this site is that anyone can submit an insult with whichever korean translation they care to cook up. therefore, i was pretty excited at some of the stuff near the bottom of the list...

"Knee Be She Be Peck Pojie Da" = "Your mother has a bald headed pussy"
"Mosenginom" = "Ugly person"
"Jungshin-byungja" = "Psycho" (my personal favorite, makes my students crack up)
"Net mejo" = "Internet masochist"... what the fuck is an internet masochist?!?
"Gaesaekki dul jokka ra kuh hae" = "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"... always a good thing to know. those fuckers... they're EVERYWHERE!
"Duk-cho shibaalnom" - "Shut up, motherfucker!"

but... the best one, i find... and i hope to work it into my daily vernacular...

"Shibural jot kat'un nigimi jot manhan ddong mul eh t'wigyo jukil ship sekia."

which means:

"You are a dick like your mum's dick and the only way you should die is by frying you in diarrhea."

yes. frying someone in diarrhea. so many times i've been pissed off at someone, and thought "damn, i should fry you in diarrhea". now i can do it in korean, too!

nothing much else is new. i have an open house next week. i have to put on a show for some of the more critical apkujeong moms. they complained about a few of my early administrative mistakes... so i said "come on down, clowns!"

so i'll have a few moms in my 4:30 class on tuesday. it should change up the dynamic a bit. maybe they'll hit on me.

again, new photos up. went to suwon today and checked out the fortress. it's an old walled city, the fortress part has been preserved and you can walk around the whole city in about 2 hours. totally cool.

http://groups.msn.com/uberscheisse/shoebox.msnw

since my canucks post suddenly became the most controversial topic ever posted on my blog (a record SEVENTEEN comments...) i shall say the following:

hockey is the safest refuge for social deviance, sexual exploitation and closeted homosexuality since the catholic church.

comment on that, fruits. i've heard of the pickle race, have you? it's something that belongs at neverland ranch, not in organized sports.

i met a girl who has the BORIS THE SPRINKLER "i'm into boris the sprinkler and i throw like a fag" t-shirt. in seoul. i can die happy.

does anyone know whatever happened to the reverend norb? i haven't picked up a MRR in about 7 years.

"gimme gimme grape juice!"

ah, the canucks got blasted.

i can now officially stop giving a shit about hockey. and the fact that i'd miss a riot. whew!

there's always next year... and the year after... and the next 350,000 years after that...

again, for people concerned about lucas mcfadden but don't check the northwest hardcore board... (i'm sure there's at least one of you out there) his mom posted on the board details about his current condition. seems like he's pissed off enough say cuss words and to flip off his dad. a good sign i'm sure. i would be pissed off too... but i don't flip off my dad.

http://nwhardcore.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=2039&start=45

such posts offset the bajillion posts about walrus porn, fight stories why NOT going to ozzfest this year is stupid and should be punished by getting punched (slayer AND a judas priest original lineup). damn...

it'd be the best, seeing a bunch of lowest-common denominator shitheads yelling and screaming for some dude who most likely has a bondage bumdungeon for young hairless boys backstage. it'd be fun.

i swear, i picked the wrong damn year to sojourn in another country. the canucks are going to win... which i don't really care about but i'd like to see someone BESIDES crackheads blamed for wrecking shit in vancouver... slayer AND judas priest AND ozzy on the same bill... and i bet you ninety-five cents i'd get a chance to kick kim kinakin in his spineless dink once or twice. i'm missing out on so much good shit!

it really could turn out be a bad year. oh well, dream theater's coming!

i just like svend robinson. he's a good dude. seems he's been caught pocketing shit at a jewelry auction... but he's legitimately citing post traumatic stress disorder - after banging his head hiking on galiano in 1997.
-----------
from today's vancouver sun:

William Koch, a psychologist who is also a professor in the University of B.C. department of psychiatry, said shoplifting is not common following stress, but it does occur.

He said some people when stressed will act on their temptation to steal and are usually people who have habits of compulsivity.

Barry Beyerstein, a psychology professor at SFU, wonders whether Robinson is suffering from depression, which he said could be a trigger for stealing.

"[The theft] seems like an example of irrational stealing, kleptomania," said Beyerstein, adding it can happen when an individual is feeling a high level of stress.

"Depression wasn't mentioned but this is often a trigger for that sort of thing -- extreme stress, mood disorder, depression and some of the chemical changes in the brain at a time like that do produce weird, compulsive urges and very great difficulty in controlling impulses in people.
--------------------
if this is true, and i do believe it is... MY SISTER DROPPED ME ON MY HEAD WHEN I WAS A MONTH OLD. yeah, fractured skull, messed up fontanelle. and sometimes i have random urges to punch people.

got me a bumload of new photos uploaded. i'm especially proud of the first jongno-dong neon sign one...

it's not often you go to a bar in the seediest part of seoul

and find a picture of your grandfather playing fucking hockey.

imjin gardens, 1953.

aerial photograph. framed.

i'm going to try to buy it off the guy. it has a letter confirming its validity on PPCLI letterhead from some CO named vince courtenay. absofuckinglutely insane.

new photos up!

http://groups.msn.com/uberscheisse/shoebox.msnw

more from 'ab'norm drouilliard from www.nwhardcore.com/board:

Here's the update on lucas' condition: They're putting a plate or plates in his arm, which is apparently the most fucked up injury. as of last night, lucas was going into surgery for his back, and they were going to "fuse" his vertebrae, whatever that means. If his pelvis were not broken, he would be able to walk in a very short time. The last update I heard, they didn't know what to do about the pelvis, but his father, who's a doctor said that regardless he should be able to walk somewhat in 3 months. The only worse news than before is that they found that he suffered a couple of shots to the brain, and though they don't think that they're too serious, they aren't going to know if there's any brain damaged until he's not sedate and he's interacting with people.

As for cash, his medicare is completely taken care of since both his parents are doctors. As for other costs while he's down and out, I'll find out what he and his family needs if anything.

His dad also said he might be able to have visitors as soon as tomorrow, but I'll keep everyone updated on that as well. It's awesome to see everyone showing support for Lucas!

lucas is a trouper. i bet he'll pull through just fine and be pounding the skins again soon. the score? LUKE 1, CLIFF 0. that cliff got its ASS KICKED.

this post by 'ab'norm drouilliard from the nwhardcore.com message board:

This past saturday, lucas (mcfadden, ex-reserve 34, carry on, burden, face tomorrow, rosary) was hiking at Mt. Burnaby with some friends, and slid down a hill, then fell off a cliff. He's in intensive care right now in stable condition. His injuries include: broken arm, leg, pelvis, and a shattered vertebrae. His spinal cord was not touched, though they have to operate on him to remove bone fragments. This is all the information we have right now, but I'll post any new info I have. Luke is at VGH but since he's in ICU, only immediate family can visit. Any changes on his condition will be posted Thanks, Norm

this sucks. i suppose anyone relevant to lucas' life is more likely to check out the northwest hardcore board than my blog; however if you're reading my blog (because it is the height of literary bliss) rather than the northwest hardcore board (which is most often an excuse to trade bird-porn, talk about marijuana and wonder 'who would win in a fight, rollins or danzig?)...

lucas pretty much got every bone in his body all messed up. there will be some sort of benefit to help lucas cope with the coming months of extreme physical pain and recovery. i can't go to them of course, but if you're reading this and give a shit, and haven't already, bookmark this site:

www.nwhardcore.com/board and any info on his condition will likely be more up-to-date there than it is here.

i don't know him all that well but he's a good kid... and when you hear something like that 5000 miles away, well... you feel kinda helpless and circle the wagons internet-style. i bet there's going to be benefits in seattle and vancouver.

also i believe greg HxC of seattle is attempting some sort of immediate fund to hook lucas up with an mp3 player and a bunch of literature to make the next little while more endurable.

if there was any question as to bad dealings between the USA and the rest of the world... if anyone is even slightly doubting the US' 'humanitarian' and 'liberating' efforts worldwide... read "the trial of henry kissinger" by christopher hitchens.
holy jumpin' jesus on a pogo stick, that's a dude who needs his ass executed.

cambodia
vietnam
laos
bangladesh
chile
greece/cyprus

where else? as docs get de-classified, we may see more. not to mention the number of US servicemen he kept in action to ensure nixon's election in '68... i think kissinger's indirect and direct death toll is hovering somewhere around 2 million. kind of a lot for someone who ironically accuses hitchens of being a holocaust denier.

i love americans but i hate america.

so i am totally ignorant about how html and search engines work...

pretty soon the following website will be up:

www.andongesl.com

and if you click on it lots, google will make it more popular for people who are researching teaching english in andong.

for now you can see what's going to go up here:

http://www.lonelybullet.com/andongesl/

yeah. let's bankrupt monster!

if you hate nickleback as much as i do you will love this video:

http://myweb.nmu.edu/~klausche/nickelback.mpg

"DOES ANYONE IN PORTUGAL WANNA HEAR SOME ROCK AND ROLL?"

there's this thing about restaurants here. i don't know if i've commented on this before... but restaurants specialize in certain things. if it's bulgogi, they have a picture of a smiling cow with a chef's hat. if it's go din ah, a picture of a smiling fish with a chef's hat, usually giving the thumbs-up sign, as if fish have thumbs... and with all the cannibalistic connotations... i mean, if the restaurant served human flesh, would they have a picture of a human chef? it's just scary.

digression - someone please rent "cannibal-the musical" by the south park dudes and tell me if it's good. http://www.troma.com/movies2/cannibal/content.html

anyways, i've not seen a single dog restaurant with a smiling dog...

a few of my coworkers are planning to eat dog soon. there's a thing with koreans and dogs - they all get yappy little mutts that are (and you should say it like sling blade) "no bigger 'n a squirrel, i reckon" and all frilly and wearing bows and shit in their fur. they're going to somehow get their hands on one of these kickable little inbred flea-condos and bring it in to the restaurant...

"hey, we brought our own, can you cook it up?"

reminded me about the time a friend of my dad got really pissed at a guy who ran a chinese restaurant for some reason... he got some roadkill cats and walked in holding them by the tail during a busy lunch hour... "hey mr. tsu, where do you want these? the back door was closed!" or something like that.

yeah. THE CRUELTY MUST END. ONLY KILL THE ANIMALS WHO AREN'T CUTE!!!

people begging for an update...

apkujeong is boring. there's really nothing to do here unless you like shopping. i don't really like shopping. i think that anyone who likes shopping has a few screws loose. and when you consider that the stuff here caters to koreans... i.e. cellphones, overpriced faux-vintage clothes, well, you can see that even the shopping can be frightfully dull. anyone want some 'old' adidas or pumas or asics, let me know.

umm. what's new? tilly angus, longtime portland resident, died a few days ago. that really sucks, she was a total sweetheart.

my niece thinks my (her and her brothers') cat is psychic. yes, klaus is psychic, he reads your mind to find out when you are most tired and chooses that exact time to tear around the house like a maniac, pretending he's hunting ghost mouse. he does have powers... and annoyance is his secondary power. cuteness is his strongest one.

my post about monster got accepted to the www.eslcafe.com "job information journal" which gives it just a bit more credibility than a post on a message board. pretty soon www.andongesl.com will be up too, in hopes that anyone searching for "esl jobs in andong" or whatever will be directed to a page saying "DO NOT COME ALL THE WAY FROM (insert western country here) TO WORK FOR THIS MAN". it'll be good.

hmm. not much else to tell. playing lots of counter-strike today to pass the time....

so i ended up phoning bill right after i did that last entry.

he informed me that monster is telling students that the reason i left is...

he fired me for hitting a student.

i don't think it's going to be possible for me to leave korea without hitting somebody. probably not a student.

so an email from good ol' bill back in andong regarding monster's new teacher...

"Dear SEAN,
The new American has worked one week now. He's staying at Monster's house. Monster told me he couldn't get new work visa for him, not even if he paid immigration. He said he was going to work him about 15 more days and kick him out without pay so that he would break even on the air ticket from Romania. He said by that time he would have another teacher. I know by that time the guy will be flat broke. Monster told me not to tell him, if I do, then 100% sure Monster will know I told. Julie teacher and Yong-Tak know. As for me he still owes me, now it is 525,000 for last month and new payday falls on the 10th, that's 6 more days AND once again I won't get full pay. This time the bastard will cite his teacher recruitment expenses. I told Mr. Lee last night that the first full check I receive, I will immediately quit."

i don't know why i'm in shock, but i am. some kid flew all the way from romania to work for REI. i have half a mind to go down to andong myself next weekend and give him a talking to. if bill can't muster up the balls to tell the kid what he's got into, i will... shit.