I COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT MIKE KORNITSKY WOULD BE THE FIRST OUTSIDE CONTRIBUTOR TO ANTE THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME A FUNNY STORY.

here goes:

I was working the door at some private function at the aquarium last night. It was some social gathering of international delegates from some greenhouse gas conference. We had about 700 people to deal with.

Pretty much everybody was inside and one of the charter bus drivers came down to take a look at what was going on. As he approached the door a baby squirrel about the size of a small mouse with a big fuzzy tail started darting around his feet. I tried shooing the squirrel away and it took off climbing up my pant leg, along my back and then finally up to my head. The crazy little bugger just stayed perched on my shoulders chirping away and every so often scampering back and forth poking at my ears. I tried pulling it off and it freaked out. I didn't want to get bit or scratched by it so I just let it go about its business on my shouders much to the amusement of my co-workers. It stayed perched on my shoulder for a good 20 minutes!

It just hung out back on my shoulder just beyond where I could not see it and chirped awayin my ear as guests came in. We had fun watching some of them do a double takes when some of them noticed that there was a wild rodent sitting on my shoulder. Most of them were from Europe or Asia and were just plain baffled by this strange Canadian security guard greeting them with a squirrel dancing around on his shoulder. What was even better was the people who obviously saw it but seemingly blocked it out of their perceptions and kept on walking as it was just far too wierd of a scene to comprehend. I was calling other guards on my radio to come check it out and it eventually climbed back down just before somebody managed to round up a camera.
------------------------
yeah. mike is a friend of the animals. he's vegan! the squirrel knew it and felt extra-comfortable in mike's presence. can you imagine the stories? "honey, all the security guards in canada have furry sidekicks!!!"