people have been bugging for an update. there's not much new to tell really except for a teaching thing that happened yesterday.

i was teaching one of my two 'problem classes', full of kids just hitting puberty, full of hormones and energy. these are two classes whose students i like individually but HATE as a group. i mean i really sink down into petty hatreds of these little punks. as soon as i start talking, three of them start talking. i'll say "jo yong hihae" which startled them the first week i'd learned it but now they just keep talking. in korean.

it really throws me off, i try to start teaching about some weird idiomatic thing, and they distract me by talking. i eventually graduate to "shut up" and then attempt to kick some kid out of the class. they'll then all sit there silent, while the offending kid just stares at his or her book, refusing to leave. one time i stood over this one annoying little bitch kyoung-jin who deliberately uses disrespectful language in korean in hopes i'll find out what it is and realize how much she hates me... for like 10 minutes i just kept repeating "leave now. get out of my class. leave now" while everyone was just silent. i ended up giving up and leaving myself.

so we're talking about this one story. my classes are lighthearted, and inevitably the discussion digresses to topics such as wrestling, PC games, handphones... korean stuff. at one point this one kid is trying to say "i am riding a bicycle" but she says "I am a bicycle!" which makes me laugh and i say back "you are a bicycle?" and don't give it a second thought, as i turn back to the two other dudes and start talking about choke-slams and pile drivers again.

about 30 seconds later, after muttering in korean, this girl starts freaking out and slamming her notebook on her desk super loud.

even if she's rightfully pissed about something, that's inappropriate. especially by korean confucian standards. in canada i'd say "What's wrong?" but in korea i'm a god so i say "get out". she sits there and just glowers at her book. koreans do see the teacher as a god, but they also hate taking shit from a foreigner... and unlike a middle school teacher, i'm not allowed to smack her. so she knows i can't do anything but yell at her in front of the class. embarrassing for her right now but in 1/2 an hour it'll be a badge of honor.

"get out. leave the class now." i repeat this a couple of times, and then totally lose my shit because it's been a rather rough day.

"GET OUT!!!" i holler as loud as i possibly can. anyone of you who has ever attempted to give me silent treatment before has been witness to how much it enrages me... today was no exception, because the kid just sat there indignant. i lost my temper as much as i could within the boundaries of my job. i really wanted to be korean and just drill the kid in the face.

so i got up, grabbed her chair and turned it towards the door. i then said "i can always carry you out" to which the little shit stands up and stomps out.

the rest of the class is quiet and reserved. i hear monster talking to her outside the classroom. i walk out and tell him my version of what happened. she whispers in korean to monster...

he takes me aside and says "you said she was a bicycle... she is going through her... uh... change of life... right now and her voice changes, she is very shy about it. she thinks you said that she squeaks like a bicycle"

i've been involved in some pretty odd misunderstandings before, but this one takes the cake. i got monster to tell her that it was something totally unrelated to her pubescence, just to the story we were reading, about a dude practicing for a bike race. she didn't seem to take that as an explanation. or the fact that he scolded her for freaking out in class.

so i pulled her back in the class and had the job of explaining what a 'misunderstanding' was to 8 kids who really don't give a shit if they learn english... to the point where they don't want to understand what a misunderstanding or an apology is.

banging your book on the table, menarche PMS episode or not, is still inappropriate and i stand by screaming at the kid, because, well, this is korea.

if it was the US or Canada i'd probably get sued for causing nervous suffering and end up on a few daytime talk shows with right wing fruitcakes backing me up and trailer park lowest-common-denominators masquerading as person's rights advocates telling me to 'not go there' and that i am a bad person.

teaching can take a flying leap. really, the only things i'm interested in are beer, rock and roll and naked women. but that's for "sean o'leary's dirty blog" which may or may not exist, ma.