ok so this morning's got me feeling a little homesick. i woke up with a hell of a lot of thought going around in my head... like more thought than normal. is there a unit of measurement for thought? gigathoughts?

firstly, i think it is crucial to pay heed to the teachings of one of the world's great social theorists, tony "otis" williamson of kelowna via st. john NB. "LIVE THE DREAM, PUNCH YOUR BOSS". almost daily he would berate me with that whilst being nagged to take shorter breaks and clean just one more window like we didn't ever get the job done anyways.

i got paid 400,000 won. 400 measly dollars. "oh sean, i have money problems this month. you endure, please".

to which i replied "that's just not acceptable. i didn't come to korea for a holiday, i came to make money. if you don't pay me, i have to take some sort of action".

he waffles a bit because he knows i have the upper hand. "well, sean, you know we really love you here, the students love you, we don't want to have same problem as mark and steve, they leaving before contract is finish".

i think i scared him as much as some wet-behind-the-ears snow mexican can scare a manipulative, pushy bitch. "this is what needs to happen. you need to pay me the full amount by monday, or i have to take measures to ensure my own safety".

at which point he started doing his "over-friendly boss" thing where he pats my shoulder and it feels like i'm on my hands and knees in the confessional like a 9-year-old residential school choirboy... "sean you don't worry, you listen to mark, monty, steve, they all crazy, they think i am bad guy".

"mr. kim, at this point i have as much reason to believe them and bill (who is getting dicked around too, his outstanding shit is supposedly going to be paid a month from now) as i have to believe you" and he shut up, we talked about basic banking stuff and he agreed to give me 200,000 today and the remaining 1.3 million on monday. i told him "i'm helping my parents pay their mortgage and finance the renovation of their house" which is a decidedly confucian value that gave him much reason to believe that I NEED TO BE PAID.

it sucks that bill didn't work for the PHS, it's astonishing how good my bullshit-detecting skills have developed. "oh, he just wants to go up to gary's room to get his jacket!". yes, i believe you. i'd like to see balogh the warden deal with my boss. it'd be funny.

like i have to justify that shit. my job is to show up, teach english, and not open my mouth. his job is to PAY ME. not blow my fucking paycheck at "ka-chee-no" or the whorehouse.

so, well, i may be in taiwan by the time my next blog update occurs.

again, don't worry about me. i still have enough money to fly the coop, and while this is an insulting waste of my time, i have developed a really mellow perspective on this whole boondoggle.

1. i got fed and housed and even clothed (he gave me a bathrobe) in a foreign country for a month. not cheap, even in korea.
2. i had fun, made some new friends and learned how to get around korea.
3. i got some valuable job experience, and learned alot of how to govern myself in a classroom and how to deal with a bunch of spoiled, shrieking fruitcake children.

so in that respect, i've come out on top. i've wasted a month doing stupider shit, and as far as personal trauma goes, i wouldn't trade this month for a month living with meredith mitchell and her piss-happy cats. i wouldn't trade this for getting my tongue bit off by aaron brown. i wouldn't trade this month for any month working at the t-shirt factory or at ace window cleaners. i wouldn't trade this for any month i spent unemployed.

the only reason this is a real pain in the ass is that i want to be flying across cambodia and vietnam on my OWN motorcycle (not a rental) by this time next year. this is just an obstacle for the plan and for that reason i should LIVE THE DREAM, PUNCH MY BOSS.

otis is a genius, everyone should spend at least an hour with otis before they leave this mortal coil. if he gets his own TV show like we planned, you may just get that chance.

some other updates:

i was vegetarian for a good ten years. i started eating fish again during an ill-advised sojourn on cortes island, and that was a wise decision since fish don't feel shit when you bonk 'em so who cares. now i'm in korea and it's pretty impossible to avoid accidentally eating meat because they crank it into EVERYTHING. i don't dislike the taste of meat, so i just pull a 'when in rome' attitude because it's highly rude to be picking shit out of your mouth as you eat or leaving bits of food on your plate. i'm big on manners.

so anyways, in a month i've probably eaten a full meat based meal, by accident or out of politeness. i had an all-you-can-eat joint in okdong recommended to me. i get there, and it's one of those korean barbecue joints. i walk in, and think about walking out because i see the big long line of meat. i think for a second, and decide aw, "who cares? let's try seeing how the stupid half lives". so i sat down, filled my plate up with fresh beef, lamb and chicken. slapped that shit on the grill, and cooked myself a really tasty feast with samjang, lettuce wraps, garlic and onions, kimchi and dried fish. i ate a lot and it was really quite delicious. then i met yong-tak for a couple of pints at the wa bar.

so now it's morning. i don't think there's any irony in the fact that, given my diet over the last 24 hours and my boss' dipshittery that i woke up with ICE CUBE playing in my head.

"Went to mom's house and dropped a load in the bathroom... Jumped back in my low rider, Comin out feelin about ten pounds lighter... Went to Bone's house so I can get the gat, Looking for the place where all the hoes kick it at" steady mobbin', from the 1991 album "death certificate"

for a compelling argument for "why one should not eat meat", try eating meat sometime. i feel like homemade shit right now and could stand to lose about ten pounds if the shit would just MOVE. anyone got some exaraxxa?

ICE CUBE also raps a lot about getting paid in that song. "i'm out ta get rich, cause life ain't nothin' but money and..." oh yeah, my mom reads this blog. or, how about "stopped givin' juice to the raiders, 'cause al davis never paid us... i hope he's wearin' a vest"...

shitty thing is, there's no guns in this country.

what else? meaghan, if your mom has let you read this far... well if she hasn't she's a hypocrite because she swears like a sailor in prison, happy birthday kiddo. i haven't got you anything yet because i haven't figured out what 'store that sells stuff that kids like' is in korean. but expect a package soon.

happy birthday to john and hannah too. happy valentine's day everyone. sorry for the long update but i think the shit i ate last night is now exerting pressure on some part of my brain that makes me run off at the mouth.