i think it's going to be impossible to go for too long in this country without a decent fight story. mark and danielle are leaving to travel the world, so we drank numerous jugs of beer and three people got extremely drunken overseas birthday phone calls from me. i sure hope i didn't cuss when i was on the phone to meaghan who is now 11 and one of the best people in the world.

anyways we're drinking and since mark's leaving he has to get rid of the fireworks he accumulated while in the 'dong. so they all go down to the street and start shooting roman candles in the air. i stay inside because it's colder than a witch's booty.

from the window we see these 10 or so korean teenage boys walk past mark, and purposely step in the way of the fireworks as if to say "why are you shooting roman candles at me, waegook?" and they get all pissed off and start getting in mark's face.

mark is a mellow, friendly little man but he's also a hapkido dude and a bit of a wrecker. everyone else is much larger than these taegookie fruit baskets who are each about 65 pounds soaking wet. this one drunk bozo starts shrieking "you go, you get out! go away from here! police will come!" and everyone starts laughing at them. this exacerbates the rage of the soju rebels who start a chest-puffing teenage display of drunken bravery that only serves to make us laugh harder. i go outside just in case there's a chance i can stick my face in the way of a flying foot, but it ended without a scuffle.

it was just funny, buddy was freaking out and his friend was trying to play the peacemaker in broken english "you go away from here now... my friend angry" and it was just like some bad movie. yeah your friend's angry, dipshit, but he's smaller than my cat and he needs a quick trip to detox.

yeah, not a really good fight story, but funny enough. you kinda had to be there. kinda reminded me of the story of sean lande and the turkish gangster kids in germany... "fuck your muzzer!!! fuck your family!!!"... except these dudes were just a bunch of drunk xenophobic ESL shitheads, not crazy german ghetto locs who'd bust ein cap in mein hinde.

i don't think they have detox centers in korea. i think they'd see it as some sort of high treason.